Help is available for families of alcoholics

A few weeks ago this column touched on domestic violence, and it seemed to be familiar to many local families. Soon after, our community had its own encounter with the vilest of home violence; a mother shot her adult son, then herself.

I do not know this family nor their circumstance. Whenever a crime occurs, rumors fly, and I have no way of knowing where the truth lies. The mother was quoted as saying she could no longer live with the son's alcoholism. For those who have lived in close proximity to an alcoholic, this makes perfect sense.

I know another family much like this one in another state. I had hired the youngest son to design some graphics, and after a week or two of silence I emailed him. "Sorry, family emergency," was all I got back. A sympathetic friend sent me a link to the chilling news article; his father had killed his older brother after years of dealing with alcohol and drug-related behavior.

There is no such thing as a "typical" alcoholic. The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism has identified five subcategories of alcoholics.

The largest group this study identified are young adults. These are generally people who have no family history of alcoholism and who do not show evidence of mental disorder or other types of substance abuse. Most of these do not ask for help for their alcoholism.

The second group comprises 21% of alcoholics and are referred to as "antisocial." they may have antisocial personality disorder, major depression, or other psychiatric disorders.
Functional alcoholics, about 19% of all alcoholics, are usually middle-aged, educated, family types. Half are smokers; 1/3 have a family history of alcoholism.

Right behind the functional are the 19% called Intermediate familial alcoholics. Many of this group have had clinical depression or bipolar disorder; most smoke, and half come from strong family histories of alcoholism. Only about 15% seek help from professionals for their alcoholism.

The Chronic, Severe Alcoholics comprise 9% of the population. The may have started drinking early, and are now middle aged. This group shows exceptionally high rates of antisocial personality disorder, criminal behavior, and multigenerational alcoholism. I was present when a chronic "hardcore" alcoholic was told that at this point in his life, these were the things he had to look forward to: hallucinations, seizures, and death. I also saw the man walk out two weeks later and buy the biggest bottle of alcohol he could find--and drink it.

Today's column was more about the people who live with the alcoholic -- the mother, father, step-parent, siblings, spouse, and children. The average alcoholic strongly affects at least 8 people in his life time.

The most popular self-help group for the families of alcoholics is called Al-Anon. It's different from Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) in that it's for the families, not the person who drinks. Members gather in order to support, educate, inform, and help each other. Everything at these meetings is kept anonymous. One person says "the help you get there would be good for anyone, even a normal person with no alcoholic in their life. But when you live with an alcoholic, you have to have it; it's a lifeline."

In the Tri-Cities Area, I've found the following Al-Anon groups:

Abingdon, VA
Sinking Springs Presbyterian Church 136 E Main St
Tues/Th 8pm

Bristol, VA
Central Presbyterian Church 301 Euclid Ave
8pm M,W,SA

Elizabethton, TN
Watauga Baptists' Assn Bldg 3871 Hwy 19E
TUE 6pm

Greeneville, TN
Cumberland Presbyterian 201 N Main
Tues 7:30

Johnson City, TN
Cherokee UMC, 2615 S Roan
Th 7 pm

Johnson City, TN
REBOS Bldg 213 E Maple St
Sat 4:30

Johnson City TN
Harrison Christian Church 2517 Browns Mill
Tue 10 am

Johnson City
Covenant Presbyterian Church 603 Sunset Dr
Tue 7:30
Th noon

Kingsport, TN
Renaissance Center 1200 E Center St
Tues noon
Th 8pm

Kingsport, TN
Holy Trinity Lutheran Church 800 Broad St
Mon 8pm

Mountain City, TN
Action Coalition Bldg 138 E Main St
Mon 7pm

For more information, please visit http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

To find an online group to participate in, or to chat with someone online right now, please click on

http://www.ola-is.org/olais/chat.htm

Help is available for families of alcoholics

A few weeks ago this column touched on domestic violence, and it seemed to be familiar to many local families. Soon after, our community had its own encounter with the vilest of home violence; a mother shot her adult son, then herself.

I do not know this family nor their circumstance. Whenever a crime occurs, rumors fly, and I have no way of knowing where the truth lies. The mother was quoted as saying she could no longer live with the son's alcoholism. For those who have lived in close proximity to an alcoholic, this makes perfect sense.

I know another family much like this one in another state. I had hired the youngest son to design some graphics, and after a week or two of silence I emailed him. "Sorry, family emergency," was all I got back. A sympathetic friend sent me a link to the chilling news article; his father had killed his older brother after years of dealing with alcohol and drug-related behavior.

There is no such thing as a "typical" alcoholic. The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism has identified five subcategories of alcoholics.

The largest group this study identified are young adults. These are generally people who have no family history of alcoholism and who do not show evidence of mental disorder or other types of substance abuse. Most of these do not ask for help for their alcoholism.

The second group comprises 21% of alcoholics and are referred to as "antisocial." they may have antisocial personality disorder, major depression, or other psychiatric disorders. Functional alcoholics, about 19% of all alcoholics, are usually middle-aged, educated, family types. Half are smokers; 1/3 have a family history of alcoholism.

Right behind the functional are the 19% called Intermediate familial alcoholics. Many of this group have had clinical depression or bipolar disorder; most smoke, and half come from strong family histories of alcoholism. Only about 15% seek help from professionals for their alcoholism.

The Chronic, Severe Alcoholics comprise 9% of the population. The may have started drinking early, and are now middle aged. This group shows exceptionally high rates of antisocial personality disorder, criminal behavior, and multigenerational alcoholism. I was present when a chronic "hardcore" alcoholic was told that at this point in his life, these were the things he had to look forward to: hallucinations, seizures, and death. I also saw the man walk out two weeks later and buy the biggest bottle of alcohol he could find--and drink it.

Today's column was more about the people who live with the alcoholic -- the mother, father, step-parent, siblings, spouse, and children. The average alcoholic strongly affects at least 8 people in his life time.

The most popular self-help group for the families of alcoholics is called Al-Anon. It's different from Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) in that it's for the families, not the person who drinks. Members gather in order to support, educate, inform, and help each other. Everything at these meetings is kept anonymous. One person says "the help you get there would be good for anyone, even a normal person with no alcoholic in their life. But when you live with an alcoholic, you have to have it; it's a lifeline."

In the Tri-Cities Area, I've found the following Al-Anon groups:

Abingdon, VA Sinking Springs Presbyterian Church 136 E Main St	Tues/Th 8pm
Bristol, VA Central Presbyterian Church 301 Euclid Ave	8pm M,W,SA
Elizabethton, TN Watauga Baptists' Assn Bldg 3871 Hwy 19E	TUE 6pm
Greeneville, TN Cumberland Presbyterian 201 N Main	Tues 7:30
Johnson City, TN Cherokee UMC, 2615 S Roan	Th 7 pm
Johnson City, TN REBOS Bldg 213 E Maple St	Sat 4:30
Johnson City TN Harrison Christian Church 2517 Browns Mill	Tue 10 am
Johnson City Covenant Presbyterian Church 603 Sunset Dr	Tue 7:30 Th noon
Kingsport, TN Renaissance Center 1200 E Center St	Tues noon Th 8pm
Kingsport, TN Holy Trinity Lutheran Church 800 Broad St	Mon 8pm
Mountain City, TN Action Coalition Bldg 138 E Main St	Mon 7pm

For more information, please visit http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

To find an online group to participate in, or to chat with someone online right now, please click on

http://www.ola-is.org/olais/chat.htm

Why can't we pay attention?

Here's a great Harvard study on inattentional blindness, the phenomenon where we don't notice objects because we're too intent on something else. I'm really relieved to know there's a name for it; I must be the reigning queen. I can't tell you how many times somebody's told me they blew their horn, waved at me, or tried to get my attention some other way and I never even noticed.

There's a video that gives a good illustration of the point. Read the directions below, then click on the green arrow to start the video. http://viscog.beckman.uiuc.edu/grafs/demos/15.html
Several people emailed me a similar video that was perhaps less obvious and more fun, but I must have been to happy with the delete button this week.

Directions for video:
You will see 2 teams playing basketball. Count the number of times the white team passes the ball. Then click this button and answer the question.

Big Apology

The other day I updated my email client. I use Thunderbird -- if you aren't familiar with it, it works a lot like Outlook. Only to me it has more options.

Anyway, Thunderbird is supposed to do an automatic update, and apparently it did. Usually my Times News account downloads one or 5 or 6 letters. 10 if I'm lucky. Sometimes I don't even get one.

This time it went nearly to 2,000.

I had emails from early October. I had e-cards for the holidays. I had a request for piano lessons that I never answered, and an email from a former student asking whether I thought she should major in violin at college.

And, of course, I had reader emails. They responded to nearly every column I've written over the past 7 months.

So I owe everyone a big apology. We all know technology can fail, and stuff happens, but it is really sad when it does!

Gas Prices: Desperate Times, Desperate Measures

Whew. Looks like the motorcyclists get a break for awhile; this week's Times News column is about gas prices, and consumers' reactions to them.

For example, this Nielsen study shows that we're tightening our budgets in response to higher gas prices. And Fox News said that many travelers changed their Memorial Day plans because of the costs.

Many motorcyclists wrote over the past month to tell me what great gas mileage their bikes get. It's sounding better and better, isn't it?

Be careful out there!

Thank you......

A big thank you to everyone who answered the poll questions. Hopefully tomorrow's column will reflect your thoughts.

There were too many comments sent via email, websites and this blog to cover everything in that one bottom-of-the page article, so I'll continue to talk about giving motorcycles room on the road in the weeks ahead.

Tanya

A Poll for you

I dont' share the road with motorcycles because...
	I don't see them
	I don't want to
	I can't avoid them because of their antics
	Other: (explain)
= see results =

This month I've been focusing on Motorcycle Awareness Month. It's not about the people riding the bikes -- it's about the people driving cars sharing the road.

A couple of motorcyclists have recommended a great book that shows motorcyclists how to create a "space cushion," countersteer, counterweight, and a bunch of other things that simply serve to remind me why I don't ride a bike! :D

My May 15 article will summarize a little bit of information from this book. It would be good for drivers of any vehicle, not just motorcycle riders.

Just click the cover below to learn more.





Be careful out there!

More Ways to Deter Burglars

Today’s column was about four kinds of burglars:

• The carpe diem
• The smash-and-dash
• The prowler
• The professional

I’d like to talk about some of the ways burglars get in, and how we can deter them.

Burglars look for signs of neglect or absence. That means lawns that haven’t been mowed, mailboxes that have more than one day’s mail, lights that remain on for days, and darkened houses. So the first thing to do is to make your home look occupied. How can you do this?

Leave lights on when you go out. The easiest thing to do is purchases inexpensive timers and connect them to some of your lamps. Have them kick on at different times throughout the evening, and make sure they are off during the day.

Consider leaving music playing when you are gone. I leave soft music or the television on even in hotel rooms so that it seems like I am in the room.

Use good outdoor lighting – motion sensitive for back yards or darker areas. Trim the trees and shrubs regularly so that they cannot be used for hiding. Consider forming a neighborhood watch group with your area

Secure your home

• Look at the outside: what would a burglar find inviting?
• Make sure the hinges on the doors are on the inside. Burglars can remove the pins – and the door – if they are on the outside.
• If you have just purchased the house or if any keys go missing, change all the locks immediately.
• Use curtains over all windows
• Change out any locks that are push-button type
• Use security locks on sliding glass doors.
• Put away tempting items like show blowers, lawn mowers, expensive barbecue grills, and bicycles.
• Keep the garage door closed and locked at all times.
• Lock all outside doors and windows, even if you are only leaving for a few minutes.

If you go out of town
Ask the Post office and newspaper to hold delivery, or have a friend pick them up.
Arrange to have the lawn mowed and other items cared for so that it seems as if you are at home. One friend always schedules small maintenance, like painting the outside trim on her house, while she’s away. Tell as few people as possible that you are going out of town.

Be careful out there!

Home Safety

For the past two weeks, I have been writing about ways to prevent your home from being burglarized. I wanted to share a letter I received from a reader. He's a certified locksmith, and I only quoted a small part of his letter in my Times-News column:

I read your article. Thank You! As an FBI cleared Locksmith 11/04/1987 I am aware Certified Locksmiths have generally neglected the Residential and Commerical Lock security sector, The most I communicated with were caught up in the automotive sector of unlocking vehicles,that of VATS and now Passkey III primarily because of the service industry even though locksmith was and still is considered a manufacturing,sales and installation skilled trade since this trade deals with working on locks and generating keys per the numerical combination of the pin drops,safe locks and yes now the digital age. We must also conform with ADA not personal convenience.

However, several things I'd like to point out. According to ANSI which dictates the way locks are designed and used we can't go strictly digital for a reason. There must be a a key override in the event the electronic system fails.

ADA and the NFC which every Bonafide Locksmith is required to know also speaks of no barriers in transportation egress emergency or normal for the legal owners,renters,occupants then outlines how doors and their hardware are to be installed. Example: Class II doors are outside residential doors which require a Class II locking device,not a Quickset 400TAL which is Class III, including the keyway which is a KW1. As my instructor in Kansas City,MO stated.

You may ask what's the difference.The class II is designed and made to resist break or kick inn to a greater extent than the class III. The key to a Class II isn't composite meaning: one or more lock manufacturers use the same keyway. Examples of a Class II key would be SchlageC or A, Russwin, Corbin,Sargent,Greenleaf. A Class III is designed for inside use only. The First digital Lock Was Quickset Access One with a Class III keyway being Titan KW10.Reason six pin offset first pin from bow to tip keyway. More secure? Still CLass III keyway since the kw10 was adopted from the KW1 5 pin composite.. All it had going for it was one million rolling combinations in it's battery powered microprocessor.

What do I recommend other than window locks,Solar security lighting, and solid steel doors. Class II Double cylinder deadbolts for door with windows, and a holy oil annoyed Pray cloth and annoyed the doors from church since I know Jesus is the master guard over all.

There are Manual Non-Electric Outside Wall Mountable four Digit Combination Changeable Key Security Boxes that can be purchased. HPC Made them just like they made a many of the picks and other tools I have tested and used since graduating. They are Heavy Steel Constructed.

Why don't I retail them? Their Cost. Scott County is SSA/SSI, and they still will preach locks are just to keep honest people honest. Which is very true.


Respectfully,
Willie Ray Bowen

Video, Anyone?

My column has not changed -- the scope has just broadened. Instead of writing about traffic safety all the time, I will try to hit on some of the bigger public safety issues. If you have ideas, by all means share.

In the meantime, everyone seems to enjoy the traffic videos:

Watch the latest traffic videos on YouTube.com

If you missed the stories of William's angel and Kevin's God experience, they've been posted at Make Mine Christian. click on "Angel Stories."

Merry Christmas to all!

William's Angel

Here is William Willocks' drawing of himself, his dad, and the angel that visited them in the car last week. Enjoy. :)

(click it to make it larger -- you'll be able to see the descriptions of each item in the drawing)

Angels Among Us....

My most recent Road Rant column is about two different individuals, both of whom experienced the power of God during a vehicle crash. I hope you enjoy the stories as much as I have!





Kevin Eller shared his crash photos with me. This is his truck down the embankment below the road.



Here is the truck after it was pulled out. It doesn't look like anyone could have survived the crash, does it?

The inset in the top photo is Kevin's wooden cross. It normally hangs on his mirror, but after the crash the cross was laying on the outside of the windshield -- which was smashed and completely removed from its frame. Kevin says this was God's way of leaving a calling card for him. Here it is a little clearer:

It's the third week in October, so it's National Teen Driver Safety Week, a time when we are expected to communicate with teens about safety on the road. Ideally, parents should discuss driver safety every day with their teens. Hopefully, they'll even listen.

As a parent, I can assure you that whoever invented some of the verbiage associated with this safety week did not have any children. Phrases like "young drivers can learn from the wisdom” and "sharing their challenges with a trusted adult" don't fit with the reality of door-slamming belligerent teens. They're usually in and out the door so fast, you're lucky to squeeze in a hello.

At any rate, the point is for all of us to join hands in focusing attention on the facts: Motor vehicle crashes are the number one cause of death among teens in the U.S. The fatality rate for drivers 16 to 19 is about four times that of older drivers. In 2005, we lost 7,500 U.S. teens to fatal car crashes. Many of those occurred in the fall, when school had begun and teen drivers were faced with a great deal of pressure and many distractions.

Teenagers love to drive. It's a rite of passage, a showing of maturity. Many of them drive to school or to run errands, and more than half say that they like to drive with no destination in mind.

I asked several teens why they prefer to drive without a passenger; they explained that another teen might "want them to drive differently"--faster or in a reckless way. This is good news, because it means they are safety conscious. So is the fact that they all named their parents' attitude toward driving as the biggest influence on the way they themselves choose to drive.

There are a few rules that teen should be reminded of regularly:

Don’t drive without a seat belt. Studies show that teens are the age group least likely to buckle up.

Do not speed. The driver was speeding in 38 percent of fatal crashes involving teenaged male drivers in 2005.

Don’t drive tired. Teens are less likely than adults to drive while under the influence, but they are more likely to drive drowsy--a state that is at least as dangerous. Most drowsy-driving crashes are caused by drivers under the age of 25.

But more important than spouting a bunch of rules is the fact that kids need more time behind the wheel in order to learn the nuances of driving. It isn’t the driver education system that is failing; things like how the car handles in different kinds of weather and how to avoid hazards can’t be taught in a classroom. Parents have washed their hands of the training, assuming that the schools will take care of it. They expect teens to go from being passive passengers to instant experienced drivers—or maybe they just don’t have time to teach them. But the best training comes from being accompanied by a trusted adult, not a cell phone or a carload of friends. This week, take a licensed teen out for a test drive.

Be careful out there!